Where Do We Go Now?

In an earlier post I mentioned my undying love of rap music, and while it will remain a part of my musical memory bank, so will something else that is (arguably) as embarrassing:

Heavy metal.

Yes, I owned several Mötley Crüe albums... yes, I bought an album by a band called Autograph, simply because David Lee Roth was an Executive Producer... and yes, I used to fumble through the myriad demonic-looking record covers in my local record store (I was a Spec's guy - may Spec's rest in peace).

But nothing shook me to my bones quite like the amalgam of sight and sound when I saw Axl Rose step off that bus at the beginning of Guns N' Roses' "Welcome To The Jungle" video.

That record (or CD, by that time) was both the culmination and the end of my heavy metal experience. Whether I knew it at the time or not, I would never again waste my time on the devil-rock with which had previously been enamored. I was done. The sound of "Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-knees" will do that to a person. But that wasn't even the best song on the album. Call me old fashioned, but that would have been "Sweet Child O' Mine."

The perfect guitar solo. The coolest video of all time (it has subdued Rottweilers. Subdued Rottweilers! Who does that? They're just lying there!).

But the reason for this writing was my reading of an article in PASTE magazine (read PASTE... you'll thank me later) about the song. While I love the song, and that should be reason enough to encourage you to read it, the article is simply an amazing piece of writing. It's one of those rare pieces of art that makes you both want to pick up a pen at one moment while at the next want to drive you to smash your word processor because you'll never write like that.

Read it. You won't regret it.

Hey, Nick Saban:

Classy job with the Dolphins. Alabama should be much easier... they just ran off a pedigreed coach who delivered a 10-2 record the year before.

I'm not angry at the lies. I'm not angry about running to greener pastures.

I'm angry at the disdain for the people of South Florida.

You don't like us? You don't like our lifestyle? You don't like the atmosphere down here? Well we don't like your personnel moves (Drew Brees probably wouldn't have worked out anyway). We don't like your condescension.

And most of all, we don't like your dumb-ass Panama hat.